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" I spiraled the chords and my singing up. "I try, andI try, and I try, and I try..."Then fast and hard. Dum-dum, dududum, dududududum."I can't get no!" Dududum, dududududum. "Satisfaction!" Dududum,dududududum."When I'm drivin' in my car, and that man comes on the radio. He'stellin' me more and more about some useless information! Supposed tofire my imagination! I can't get no! Oh, no no no..." Guitar chords again- Dududum, dududududum. "Hey, hey, hey! That's what I say!"I stamped a four-fourth beat on the stage in lieu of drums, and startedplaying the chords again."Hey, goth girl!" I cried, and gestured to the girl with the guitar tojoin in with a nod of my head. She was grinning from ear to ear watchingmy antics. She sidled up to me and watched my hands to get the timingright."I can't get no satisfaction!" we both played and sang in synch - great,a Mick Jagger and Siouxsie duet. "I can't get no satisfaction! I try,and I try, and I try, and I try! I can't get no!"We sang the next. I looked through his book and ***********ed a casket. A rather simple design of white enameled wood, lined with satin. He took some measurements, and we discussed the details of the service. I told him that the wedding flowers would do for my funeral as well. I told him my wedding gown and veil to be used for my burial garments. I do want Jonathan to see me in my wedding gown, even if it is to be as I lie in my coffin. We discussed my funeral as calmly as I discussed my wedding a few weeks ago. Only now does that seem strange.October 4 I feel so weak today, Jonathan has been here with me all day. It is such a comfort to know he is close. The priest came today as well. For a while we discussed the service, and what would happen to me. He spoke of the beauties of heaven, and did his best to re-assure me. Still, I know the end is near, and I am so afraid. Oh God, please... please... give me peace.***October 5Here the diary resumes in another handI, Jonathan Douglas, resume this diary,.
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